Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Joy of Spam

Ah, the joy of spam!

If your spam filter isn't working, it just keeps coming and coming and coming and coming.

To quote Monty Python: "Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam, wonderful spam...."

Do I need a cheap car? An early payday? Satellite TV? Money for school? Maybe even a job? Or maybe I need to control my appetite. Spam reveals the way! Here's some of my favorite topics.

Breast Implants

Sounds great!? Not only can I get these larger, perkier breasts, but I can afford better breasts!Wow! Well why not, if I can afford it!

So why does one need these better and perkier breasts? That's when you have to read the message:

"Are you tired of men paying more attention to women with larger, perkier breasts?"

Hmm, can't say I am! And what exactly makes a breast perkier? Is it just size or a more conical shape?

Even if guys are watching, is it such a good thing? A close friend who is naturally "very well endowed" feels very self-conscious in public when guys stare. In fact, she often says she'd like to get them reduced. (I kid that she should be a doner for the less endowed who desire a perkier endowment!)

What if you think you're reasonably proportioned as is? (They look ok in the pic, at least to me.) Who needs to be top heavy!

"Do you want to feel better about yourself and have all those eyes on you at the next party?"

Don't know I really want that... I'm shy, so I don't mind a few eyes, maybe, but not necessarily all those eyes (particularly those guys who gauk at your breasts and don't look you in the eye when talking to you) .

Funny thing -- these spam ads came to a guy's e-mail. Wonder how many guys want perkier breasts to they can get more guys looking at them!!!


So Jenn wants to chat with me! Two new signles want to talk with me! But who's this "Hey Babe..." character who also wants to chat with me? Am I the "Babe" or is she/he? Never realized so many people want to chat with me.

And now I have a neighbor who is looking for me! (Hope he or she is not peeping into my bedroom window trying to find me!) And why is this neighbor assuming I'm still single?

Now I must find out who are these sexxxy singles!! Do all those x's make them extra sexxxy?

So, why do I want to see Britney's pics? What if looking at a young women's pics isn't my thing?

Why does spam always assume everyone is single? Or is this an opportunity for those in a relationship to "chat" with someone else -- maybe one of those extra sexxxy singles! This is a consumer society, so why just have one relationship when you can have as many as you can stand!

Now, you shouldn't think I spend my days reading spam. But every once in a while, it's entertaining to see what they're trying to sell and how they pitch it. Ah, spam -- it you can't avoid it, at least you can make fun of it!


suburbanjungle said...

My favorite is the penis enlargement ads. I am bombarded with them does someone know something about my husband I've been trying to keep hush hush all these years.

bingkee said...

Yea I hate spam but sometimes I read them for fun.