Saturday, October 24, 2009

The "Man Rules" and My Reply

Do men and women have different persepectives on those little rules of life....those little rules that govern relationships and living together, from how to leave the toilet seat (up or down) to What does the other person really mean by what he/she just said?

Recently, a friend from another web site passed on these "Man Rules" to me. Granted they were offered just for laughs. And a lot of them are funny. But, still, they don't tell the whole story. I think a little reply is due. After all, it is my blog about my thoughts, so here they are!

I'd like to encourage readers to add their comments, too.

So, I've copied the man rules in manly blue Arial font and my thoughts in a contrasting italics and purple Georgia font. And one thing.....while the guy who wrote this numbered all the rules as "number 1" on purpose, I've added letters, to make it easier for my readers to comment on them.

The Man Rules

This is JUST for laughs!!
WOMEN: Continue to do what you want after reading this.
MEN: We ONLY labeled it as such to make you happy!!

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good). We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1a. Men are NOT mind readers.
Nor are women! If you're quiet and don't say what's on your mind, we don't know whether you're happy or sad or angry or whatever.

1b. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
It's not the seat so's when guys piddle on the seat (instead of lifting it up!) or when they leave their piddle on the rim. You won't loose your manhood by taking some toilet paper and wiping piddle off the rim!

1c. Sunday is for Sports! It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Maybe for some men, but a lot of guys are available on Sundays for social activities other than watching sports!

1d. Crying is blackmail.
So are controling emotional outbursts, like getting angry.

1e. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Like 1a, this can go both ways, too!!

1f. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Perhaps, but not if I still haven't made up my mind!

1g. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Well, I have to disagree. I want my friends, regardless of gender, to be able to be sympathetic and be able to listen to what's on my mind, particularly if I'm feeling hurt or sad or scared. It's not difficult....all you have to do is listen, you don't have to say much. Maybe a hug or embrase would be nice, too.

1h. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.
Whatever, but some things I won't forget! I may not tell you, but I can remember hurtful words years later.

1i. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
But, I don't think I am fat, but sometimes I think I look fat. How hard is it to say "you don't look fat to me" or "you look sexy" or something nice like that!

1j. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Well, that's easy for you to say! But you mean it one way or the other, so how do I know which way you mean it? And maybe how do I know you don't mean it the way that makes me sad or angry? I'm not a mind reader, you know!

1k. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
But if you're doing it in my place, I want it done MY way! And, if you're nice, you'll be glad to help me and do it my way!!

1l. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Well, who do you like more: me or that stupid TV show you're watching?

1m. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
And he thought he had reached India!

1n. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Tough! Women's fashion and house decorating requires a full palate of colors. Maybe you don't get it, but we do.

1o. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
But, if you have to scratch your crotch, as least do it in private!

1p. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Well, guys are known for not sharing they emotions, but it's not worth the hassle to get them to share them.

1q. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Yeah, but you should know that and tell us what we want to hear!

1r. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY!
That's fine for guys....but you don't's more complicated for women! I don't want to find I'm overdressed or underdressed, or wearing something that looks out of place.

1s. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
Sure, but you can say you're thinking about me (even if it's a lie).

1t. You have enough clothes.
You think? But fashion is always changing. And a woman can't wear the same thing to the office each week like a guy can. A guy just needs a few pairs of pants, some shirts and just change the tie! You don't understand, it's just more complicated for a woman!

1u. You have too many shoes.
Again, a guy can get by with some sneakers and a nice pair of black shoes. A women needs different shoes for summer and winter. Different shoes for formal, the office, nice casual, casual casual, and informal. Heals and flats. And different colors to go with different outfits. And fashion is always changing! A woman simply can't avoid having a lot of shoes!

1v. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
LOL. You wish

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Why do guys always think they did something wrong? Guilty conscience? Afraid of women? Most of the time, a women will get over it, just give her some time.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh!
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an even bigger laugh!

Men and women: please leave your comments!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Does Warm Weather Encourage Smoking?

We have a few nice days this week, with the temperature nearly 70 degrees (about 18 deg. C). So, I was walking around outside. But, in front of every office building were the ubiquitous smokers. With indoors smoking banned, they line up outside doorways, spewing second hand smoke in the midst of passers-by.

So, while I thought it should be an great day to enjoy the fall air, but instead, there was a heavy dose of second hand smoke along every sidewalk.

Now, I grew up during the “tobacco age” where smoking was normative. Adults might choose to “take up” smoking. I recall women declaring “I like a man who smokes!” as though nicotine addiction made a man more macho or handsome. Yuk!! Who wants to live with a man whose breath smells like an ashtray!

In my family, most adults smoked when I was a kid and every family gathering was blanketed in a blue haze of smoke. Amazingly I survived! But instead of “taking up the habit” I was strongly against the idea of smoking. Well, I’m glad the tobacco age is over, the health risks are well-known, and we now know smoking is one of the strongest drug addictions out there.

I’m always amazed at those addicts who persist. There are a couple of “professional smokers” in the building I work in. It seems they are always outside one door or another attending to their addiction, sometimes socializing with fellow addicts. I wonder if they actually do work in their office!

But this week got me wondering: does the good weather encourage smoking? Do the smokers come take additional breaks because it’s pleasant to stand outside? In that case, maybe cold and inclement weather is actually healthier – smokers lighting up less and non-smokers exposed to less second-hand smoke.

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Snow Globe in October?

October in New England. Fall foliage. Brilliant colors. Hillsides and mountains draped in reds, yellows, oranges, and browns. Leaves falling on tree-lined streets.

That's what you normally expect. But whether it's a sign of climate change or just a fluke of the weather, but the scene was quite different yesteday in Massachusetts. It was snowing! And sticking!

The New England Patriots were playing in Foxboro, Massachusetts while the snow was accumulating on the field. It was like the stadium was in a snow globe!

Was I asleep for 2 months and woke up in December? What's with the weather? First we had rain and cool weather in June and the beginning of July. Then we had maybe 6 weeks of summer when we should have had 3 months. Now snow in October? ¿Qué pasa aquí?