Saturday, October 24, 2009

The "Man Rules" and My Reply

Do men and women have different persepectives on those little rules of life....those little rules that govern relationships and living together, from how to leave the toilet seat (up or down) to What does the other person really mean by what he/she just said?

Recently, a friend from another web site passed on these "Man Rules" to me. Granted they were offered just for laughs. And a lot of them are funny. But, still, they don't tell the whole story. I think a little reply is due. After all, it is my blog about my thoughts, so here they are!

I'd like to encourage readers to add their comments, too.

So, I've copied the man rules in manly blue Arial font and my thoughts in a contrasting italics and purple Georgia font. And one thing.....while the guy who wrote this numbered all the rules as "number 1" on purpose, I've added letters, to make it easier for my readers to comment on them.

The Man Rules

This is JUST for laughs!!
WOMEN: Continue to do what you want after reading this.
MEN: We ONLY labeled it as such to make you happy!!

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good). We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1a. Men are NOT mind readers.
Nor are women! If you're quiet and don't say what's on your mind, we don't know whether you're happy or sad or angry or whatever.

1b. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
It's not the seat so's when guys piddle on the seat (instead of lifting it up!) or when they leave their piddle on the rim. You won't loose your manhood by taking some toilet paper and wiping piddle off the rim!

1c. Sunday is for Sports! It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Maybe for some men, but a lot of guys are available on Sundays for social activities other than watching sports!

1d. Crying is blackmail.
So are controling emotional outbursts, like getting angry.

1e. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Like 1a, this can go both ways, too!!

1f. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Perhaps, but not if I still haven't made up my mind!

1g. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Well, I have to disagree. I want my friends, regardless of gender, to be able to be sympathetic and be able to listen to what's on my mind, particularly if I'm feeling hurt or sad or scared. It's not difficult....all you have to do is listen, you don't have to say much. Maybe a hug or embrase would be nice, too.

1h. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.
Whatever, but some things I won't forget! I may not tell you, but I can remember hurtful words years later.

1i. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
But, I don't think I am fat, but sometimes I think I look fat. How hard is it to say "you don't look fat to me" or "you look sexy" or something nice like that!

1j. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Well, that's easy for you to say! But you mean it one way or the other, so how do I know which way you mean it? And maybe how do I know you don't mean it the way that makes me sad or angry? I'm not a mind reader, you know!

1k. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
But if you're doing it in my place, I want it done MY way! And, if you're nice, you'll be glad to help me and do it my way!!

1l. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Well, who do you like more: me or that stupid TV show you're watching?

1m. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
And he thought he had reached India!

1n. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Tough! Women's fashion and house decorating requires a full palate of colors. Maybe you don't get it, but we do.

1o. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
But, if you have to scratch your crotch, as least do it in private!

1p. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
Well, guys are known for not sharing they emotions, but it's not worth the hassle to get them to share them.

1q. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Yeah, but you should know that and tell us what we want to hear!

1r. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY!
That's fine for guys....but you don't's more complicated for women! I don't want to find I'm overdressed or underdressed, or wearing something that looks out of place.

1s. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
Sure, but you can say you're thinking about me (even if it's a lie).

1t. You have enough clothes.
You think? But fashion is always changing. And a woman can't wear the same thing to the office each week like a guy can. A guy just needs a few pairs of pants, some shirts and just change the tie! You don't understand, it's just more complicated for a woman!

1u. You have too many shoes.
Again, a guy can get by with some sneakers and a nice pair of black shoes. A women needs different shoes for summer and winter. Different shoes for formal, the office, nice casual, casual casual, and informal. Heals and flats. And different colors to go with different outfits. And fashion is always changing! A woman simply can't avoid having a lot of shoes!

1v. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
LOL. You wish

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Why do guys always think they did something wrong? Guilty conscience? Afraid of women? Most of the time, a women will get over it, just give her some time.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh!
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an even bigger laugh!

Men and women: please leave your comments!

1 comment:

RedKnight said...

"1o. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
But, if you have to scratch your crotch, as least do it in private!" I remember when I had a really bad yeast infection. People, mostly women, would tell me to only scratch in private. But most of the time I didn't even think before I'd scratch, it was an automatic reaction. Yeast infections are like the chicken pox. though you are told not to scratch, you're sure to do it anyway. Scratching is an almost irresistable impulse. And if we were to only do it in private, we'd be wasting precious time. I am glad that I finally overcame my persistant candida urinary tract infection, and no longer have to deal with the stigma of having to touch myself in public. P.S. To all my fellow males, if you do happen to feel the urge to scratch, and/or fix your pants, reach through your pants pocket to do it. Keeping your hand in your pocket is the very least that you can do to satisfy the sensitivities of women, and unsympathetic men.