My Little Garden, the 2010 Edition

Living in the city, there's not much space for anything. But, we have a tiny little patio behind our home and I can do some gardening around the patio. I love getting my hands in the soil and planting my flowers and vegetables. And I enjoy watching everthing grow and make this little patio in the city as my little pretty oasis. For comparison, see my 2009 garden and my 2008 garden.

Since When is 12 a "Plus Size"??

The New York Times Styles Section yesterday (Jan. 14, 2010) featured Crystal Renn, who, at size 12 is considered a "plus model." Plus model indeed! She looks rather "normal size" to me!!

When did size 12 become a plus size? When I hear "plus size" I think "fat!" But, consider that the average American women is a size 14. Is size 12 really "fat?"

Crystal was reported to be 5'-9" measuring 38C-30-42 and size 12. Apparently, in modeling -- dominated by like size 2 starving young women (some with bearly discernable busts) -- the cutoff is size 10. So, if your size 12 or bigger (fatter), your a "plus."

Now, this is personal because I'm also a size 12 (well, most of the time. sometimes I can fit into a 10, all depends on the cut). And I don't think I'm "fat." Well, maybe "big" but being 6' long and not anemic, I'm far from petite!

But I like "tall" or "long" better than "big" (or "fat").

My dimensions (40c-32-38) are kinda in the same ballpark as Crystal, but being taller, I have a few more pounds on my frame. And I'm more than twice her age, too! She is far more attractive, that I can admit.

But here's my question: at size 12, do I look like a "plus" or just "not bad for over 50!" -- what do you think?

Do You Need a Perfect Vagina?

Do You Need a Perfect Vagina? How’s that for a questions? But can you believe this is a trend in cosmetic surgery for women?

Maybe I’m getting old, but I still remember when it was the thing to get a face lift or a tummy tuck. Before that, there was always the nose job. Well, at least these alterations related to the part of your body that everyone sees on a regular basis.

But the vagina? I keep thinking to myself, why? Who’s going to notice? It’s not something you’ll notice every time you look in a mirror. And it’s not something someone near you on the elevator will see. So, why spend $5,000 to have a perfect vagina?

A report by the BBC (New warning on “perfect vaginas”) says some women are embarrassed in front of a sexual partner.

Maybe. Depending on the nature of the encounter. But in intimate encounters of, shall we say, the “first kind”, it’s not exactly what’s he’s looking at. It’s usually dark….all he’s looking for is the entry portal. As he’s finding his way in, his mind is not on the aesthetics of the entryway, that’s for sure! For guys, it’s simple: he finds his way into the “happy place,” the big event happens (hopefully, not too soon), and then he’s happy and maybe you are, too. In my perspective, it’s the presence of the vagina, not the perfection of its appearance, that is the main attraction for the guy.

But, that's only one perspective. There may be other reasons…..some women complain of being uncomfortable in tight clothes or riding a bike. Maybe there are other personal reasons to spend $5,000 for perfection in this private region. Leave a comment about what you think.

What is Beauty?

The phenomenon of Susan Boyle singing on Britain's Got Talent brings back to focus a question close to my heart: What really is beauty?

In a previous blog, I asked What is Ugly? A New York Times article on Oct. 29, 2009 ("Move Over, My Pretty, Ugly Is Here ") examined how "beauty" and "ugliness" is defined with societies. Maybe folks have overdosed on the skinny, young, and pretty which left room for unlikely heroines like Ugly Betty.

But despite a few exceptions like Ugly Betty, the media gives us a constant stream of what is supposed to be "beauty." Be it on TV, in ads on web sites (particularly dating services), or pop music stars.

Freelance web writter Julie Neumann has a recent blog post "Flaws & Fame: Susan Boyle vs. French Elle Magazine" which is a wonderful examination on the issues of beauty and body image, especially for women.

Interestingly, she notes that because Susan Boyle sang so beautifully, people take away the lesson "you can't just a book by the cover." But Julie also asks, what is Susan did not sing so well? What is her singing was ordinary or even bad? Would everyone just laugh at Susan and consider her of no particular value?

That is the saddest reflection I've heard.

Why do we have this societal idea that the beautiful are admired and have value, and that the ugly are avoided and have little value? This is what is closest to me. Having never had great looks, in the past I've tended to "stay in the shadows" and be less social, assume a lower social standing, and generally view myself as less interesting than the beautiful and popular. However, the joy of middle age is becoming unencumbered by these value systems and gaining confidence in your professional and other abilities. And just not really giving a shit about what people think about you.

But my point is not to focus on me. My concern is that so many will devalue others who do not possess what society defines as beauty. How many people are there that may not be the most attractive on the outside, yet have great talent, intelligence, and/or inner beauty.

And, are we not so much poorer for never knowing these people?

Tattoo of Mythological Bird

Sometimes the art of tattooing can produce something of exceptional beauty. This young woman’s tattoo is on display at Boston’s Museum of Science. I found it most striking and beautiful.

What is Ugly?

How do we define beauty or ugliness? Is it a universal standard or does it vary from culture to culture? Is it a point of view? Is it in the eye of the beholder? Or is it related to specific body features? Does "ugly" involve a disfigurement? How is beauty/ugliness related to one's weight or body shape?

Reading the lead article of the New York Times Style section on Thursday (10/30/08) "Move Over, My Pretty, Ugly Is Here," got me thinking.

You see, not only am I tall, and apparently a nerd, but for looks, let's say it's quite not a winning hand. Not that I'd be considered hideous, just a bit homely.

But luckily I can make up in brains what I may lack in looks. And now that I’m living in the neighborhood of middle age, I'm finally over the low self-esteem born in adolescence, when you know exactly where you stand in the pecking order of attractiveness.

Still, I must say I chose MyBlogLog over, say Facebook, because I wanted to be known for my words and thoughts, and not for what I may look like. That's also why I chose a cute avatar to represent my inner self-confidence and put a better face foward.

As I think back to adolescence it was like a domino effect of social segregation. From an early age, the more attractive tend to become the more popular, gaining more friends and social skills. The less attractive, especially if they're shy (like me), tend to fade to the background in social settings, less likely to reach out and make friends. Isolation can lead to depression and doubts about self-worth. Lack of confidence keeps you from putting your best face forward.

This effects both girls and boys. And it can take years to overcome it.

For me, having success in my profession helped a lot. In engineering, appearance and personality are generally less important; what matters to the boss is if you what you're doing and get the job done efficiently. In fact, as I think of all the competent engineers I know, there are both men and women who span the range of body shapes and appearances -- and they generally get along with each other.

The TV show "Ugly Betty" has brought the issue of appearance to prime time. The title character is also a bit homely, yet it doesn't hold her back. She too finds success at work which raises her self-esteem. And there is a related campaign to improve the self image and self confidence particularly of adolescent girls by de-emphasizing appearance.

Amazingly, even people we might find attractive have been through tough times when they were teased about their looks. Sometimes it was cultural. Someone who might have been considered unattractive in her native country, may be consider quite attractive in another culture.

On the other hand, love can overcome other aspects of appearance. The beloved is always seen as attractive. To a mother, her child is alway precious, even is she/he is a bit homely. And as couples grow old together, their appearance change with the addition of wrinkles and weight, or the loss of hair, but, through the eyes of love, they may still see each other as attractive and desirable.

It really seems that appearance is really a matter of viewpoint. Beauty and ugliness are really in the eyes of the beholder.

Now can you find a somewhat homely, aging blogger in the lineup below?